Recent Precedents set by India’s Courts: an analysis

Today’s News about the payment and acceptance of “Blood Money” in l’Affaire Italian Murderers, by “The Republic of Italy” to the presumably innocent Indian Citizen Victims has set certain Interesting Precedents which we feel should be Legislated into The Laws of the Land.

Quite another thing that the various Holy Cows standing in the way of Justice, like Law Ministers, Attorney Generals, Solicitor Generals, CJIs and other lesser CJs, retired as well as serving on Commissions and Councils, Lok Adalats, Lok Pals, SITS, STANDS etc do not seem to be burdened by existing Laws at all, and go ahead setting Precedent after Precedent, and ad-libbing away to glory without defining or having any notion about any topic under the Sun.

There is a Hand above which is guiding our destiny, and roughs hews it to Its will. So if rape is inevitable, lie back and pay up for the service.

Proposed Bill Number One:
A murderer can be absolved of the crime if he gets his victim, by any means whatsoever, to accept Blood Money, the Quantum of which will be fixed by the Nuncio, Cardinal, Archbishop of the area if the victim is a Christian of any Brand. For muslims the Kazi, Mufti, Mullah, I-mom, Aga, Haanjee, MLA, MP, Minister or any other mohammedan male claiming to be Learned in the Quaran can fix and accept the Quantum, and fix the quotas payable up & down the bread-Q, on behalf of victims.

If the victim is a Hindu or any Hindu derived Sect – no compensation, and the Kin should be burnt alive / buried alive along with the Victim, Suttee being a much older Precedent.

Proposed Bill Number Two:
Any Lok Adalat can enter into any International Agreement on any matter pertaining to the State, Central or International List, fix amounts to be given or taken, and such amounts will not attract Sales Tax, Income Tax, Octroi, Customs Duty or any other State or Central Levy. The State High and / or Dilli Supreme Court shall automatically ratify such aggreements.

Proposed Armed Forces Bill (Amendments):
The Army, Navy, Air Force, Police, Para-Military Forces shall not under any circumstances return fire, counter-attack in any area declared “disturbed”, nor in any area where the declared minority is in a majority, under any circumstances. The Navy shall not shoot or attack any ship which attempts to ram it or shoot at it in Indian or International Waters.
The Army, or other security forces, Salwa Judum included, should surrender all its weapons to “Maoists” or other “minority” rebels on demand, and the cost of these weapons shall be deducted from the jawans pay, or confiscating the peasants’ property.

Proposed IT Amendment Bill : (Actually this is not necessary in practice.)
No Income Tax, TDS, or surcharge etc can be levied from Blood Money as defined in Proposed Bill Number One.

Proposed Blood Money (Exception) Bill:
Not withstanding anything contained in Proposed Bill Number One, the Kin of Victims from the Muslim Community may, at their option, choose the Eye for a Tooth Modality prescribed by the Prophet, and kill or maim the Perpetrator whose crime has been established to the satisfaction of a Specially Constituted Sharia Court (SCSC). Christians of all brands cannot claim this option.

Be Indian – Be Incredibly Indian – Buy a Judge.