Who am I?

via Bhaskaran Vellakkad published on November 15, 2010

An officer in an office, a householder in a home, a husband to the wife, a son to the parents, a father to the children, a younger brother to an elder brother, an elder brother to a younger brother, a brother to a sister, an employee to the employer, a common man among the public. Likewise in various situations of life, the “I” in everyone assumes myriads of names & designations. In fact, who am “I” actually?

Sometimes the “I’ proclaims that of its citizenships like an American, an Indian, a Brazilian etc or of a particular religion like a Muslim, a Christian, a Hindu etc, etc. Without knowing our own real nature the “I “presumes various levels of identities suiting to the situation. All our activities in the waking state are connected to the body. It has existence as long as the body and the pride in the body exist. When the body goes from waking state to dreaming state, the existence of the state of body vanishes & goes to oblivion. In the dreaming state the body leaves all pride in it and exists as mere life energy. While in dream, the body vicariously experiences various false expressions of life as if in real life. When the body further moves from dream to deep sleep, it loses even the consciousness.  As the knower of the activities in the body dissolves into total forgetfulness the body knows nothing in deep sleep. And when the body comes back into waking state from deep sleep, it only remembers that it did not know anything while sleeping. So in all these three states – wakefulness, dream and deep sleep of body & mind, everyone experiences about oneself. From the day first to the last day everyone knows & experiences only in this way as there is no fourth way of experience. So it is clear that everyone is living without the real knowledge of the “I” in everyone.  Or else, everyone knows & experiences oneself in the wrong percept. If one analyzes meticulously his knowledge in wakeful state, one can see the end of the reality of deep sleep state.  Void or nothingness is the observable knowledge in deep sleep. It is otherwise called ignorance. So we can say that deep sleep is a state of total ignorance of everything. To realize ignorance as ignorance is also a sort of knowledge. If that knowledge is not attained in deep sleep, later we cannot convince that ignorance in wakeful state. It means that someone else is watching, knowing and remembering the ignorance of not knowing anything even in deep sleep. Otherwise it is impossible to remember it later.  Who is that watcher? “I” am that. Let us see its real nature further.

It is known that deep sleep is total ignorance & darkness. From that stage goes to wakefulness or dream again. We can observe that all these states are equally states of ignorance & darkness.  But in all these states, it is clear that a bright knowledge exists as a witness to all these states and its experiences. That knowledge is the “I” in the various denominations of the body which is unborn and immortal. The experience of not knowing or not remembering anything in deep sleep in this material world is a state of total bliss and painless state even to a chronic cancer patient suffering from excruciating pain. A person who had such a deep sleep comes back from it and says that he had slept well.  That experience of happiness & bliss is the real nature of everyone.

“I” am the unborn, eternal, ever pervading, ever witnessing, reason, shining as truth and bliss in every one. “I” am in all and all are in me. “I’ am the subtle of the subtlest and the greater of the greatest. There is nothing other than me. “I” shine as single or millions in everything. One who has known thus the “I” in oneself, knows the “I” in everyone else and everything in this universe as the same and such an enlightened soul never condemns anyone.

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